Morning! You do a Nazi salute on a guy’s inauguration, then 136 days later you’re calling him a pedophile on Twitter, costing your company $150 billion in market value. It’s almost like you’re a manic drug fiend who’s lost touch with reality.

My challenge this morning is saying something new about this that you haven’t already thought or heard in your group chat, round your dinner table, or on Twitter since. I’m not brimming with ideas because I’m too full of the popcorn I’ve been gleefully eating since 3:30 p.m. yesterday. I do want to thank Elon Musk and Donald Trump for making my year already, though.

Meanwhile if you don’t read Cheddar’s Need2Know newsletter, which I gratefully edit every evening (and hey, perhaps you should subscribe to it!), then you’ve missed out on my “where I heard the news” story, which I’ll quote here, for your amusement and to explain my slightly jaded state today:

Oof. And that, I think, is a big part of all this. It’s this generation’s death of Princess Diana or JFK shooting, or maybe it’s nothing like those things. Where were you when you heard about a public spat between two idiots?

Perhaps we’ll all look back on this particular news cycle with bemusement in due course. Again, that’s how dictators run the news cycle. They wring it out to exhaust the public so we have no choice but to disengage for our sanity’s sake. I’m looking forward to a restful weekend. I don’t know about you.

Let’s see if The New York Times can do any better than I did at capturing a sense of the story? Well, they did dispatch their billionaire reporter Theodore Schleifer, who is an actual person with a job title like that. So, there’s that. I guess he’s well qualified to cover a blowup between (checks notes) two billionaires. I’d hereby like to apply for the position of Guillotine Reporter, incidentally, as soon as that becomes available. I think the Luigi Mangione trial would be a good place for me to start.

The feud has “upended one of the most powerful dynamics shaping Mr. Trump’s second term, and it leaves both men — who lobbed insults and threats at each other on their respective social platforms — with a lot at risk,” Mr. Schleifer reports alongside White House correspondent Tyler Paiger.

That is a lot of risk, isn’t it? Meanwhile Mr. Musk’s companies have benefited from billions of dollars in government contracts and were positioned to receive billions more, a lucrative revenue source for his business empire that Mr. Trump is now threatening.

Speaking of ways to “trim the deficit,” Bill Ackman is another potential “source” for that guillotine reporter job I mentioned. Meanwhile I’m still reveling in the fact that the billionaire Kanye West managed to seem saner than all three of his other billionaire nutso pals on Twitter yesterday.

Still, Mr. Trump’s political advisers are preparing for a “possible drawn-out war against Mr. Musk in which allies of both men in tech and politics are forced to choose sides, according to one person close to the president who spoke on the condition of anonymity to describe internal conversations,” the Times reports.

I love a bit of anonymity to describe internal conversations. It’s my favorite thing in the world, honestly.

Their dispute began days ago over the president’s signature domestic policy bill, which Mr. Musk had panned as a “disgusting abomination.” It escalated on Thursday into a fight over who deserved more credit for Mr. Trump’s election victory, why Mr. Musk had not covered up his black eye with makeup during an Oval Office appearance last week and why Mr. Trump had abruptly dropped his support for a Musk associate nominated to lead NASA.

Steve Bannon, one of the most vocal critics of Mr. Musk for months, has said he was advising the president to cancel all of Mr. Musk’s contracts and start several investigations into him:

Clearly Mr. Bannon hasn’t checked the white supremacist dictionary lately which shows “immigrants” means “brown people.” So: That mud won’t stick. Sorry, Steve. Although it’s nice to see you “speaking” “truth” to “power.”

Then there’s this.

Bill Gates and Bill Clinton are blatantly in there along with Prince Andrew and everybody else. Obviously. Reminds me: a friend of mine and I are considering starting a Woody Allen Film Festival in New York City just to see who’d show up. I mean his movies are good. Even “Manhattan” with Mariel Hemingway who was (checks notes) 16 when she was cast opposite Allen. In England that was legal at the time. We all have to revisit things we once enjoyed, it seems.

Sorry buddy, but that mud won’t stick, either! Trump has been rolling around in it publicly for years. He’s practically proud of it.

Shaking my head.

As the online duel raged, social media bystanders responded with memes. There’s a nice roundup of these by a journalist who clearly values the really important stuff of the day, and isn’t too proud to stoop to this assignment. She’s cool, actually, this reporter, Aishvarya Kavi. Here’s some good lines from her bio:

Indeed. I am, too.

Thanks for letting me read the newspaper so that you don’t have to.

Say, is there a story that might cheer me up a bit?

Sure. It’s this gif. I watched the game last night with my father-in-law and brother-in-law and we were all bored in the third quarter because it didn’t look like the Indiana Pacers could close a persistent 10-point gap with the Oklahoma Thunder. They went down by 15, almost 20, then they stormed back and won it with 0.3 seconds to go on a shot the likes of which you have to devote plenty of time to watching the NBA to, to be lucky enough to have experienced live. It was a complete and total joy and I think I might now be rooting for the underdogs’ underdogs in this finals series. Mwah, Tyrese. That was me kissing you through the airwaves (wait, how old is Tyrese Halliburton?).

Matt Davis lives in Manhattan with his wife and kid.

Standard disclaimer: I read the top story in the New York Times every morning so that you don’t have to. If you were forwarded this, you can subscribe here. I also do an occasional five-minute video version of this on weekday mornings at around 9 a.m. (depending on how long it takes me to read the newspaper). If you’d like to follow me on LinkedIn (you can always watch the recording later). Or if you subscribe to my Youtube channel it’ll send you a notification when I’m “going live.”